Tiffany and I received another question from one of our readers. This question tackles the important issue of “when do I change my Facebook status to in a relationship?” My immediate response was, “Before the effects of alcohol wear off”. I still stand by that response but I felt like I should try to cover a few more scenarios. After all, not everyone meets in a bar or even drinks for that matter.
I think it all depends on your reason. For many people, Facebook is the megaphone used to broadcast their drama. So, changing your Facebook status is a lot like stocking up on ammo. In a relationship becomes a loaded gun that fires a single shot into the heart of your partner when your breakup gets posted on the wall of your 185 friends. And of course you want them all to know and even chime in on how happy they are for you that you finally decided to dump that loser who they all thought was great while you were dating. After all, what are friends for if not to be supportive even if it means waffling like a politician?
There’s also the lather rinse and repeat approach if you thrive off of the drama rush. You can change your status to in a relationship to let your friends know that everything is going well and back to single to let them know you’re having a fight. Then, back to in a relationship so all your friends know that you have kissed and made up… at least for now. But you can always reserve the right to go back to being single the next time you get mad. Since Facebook attaches a timestamp to every post you make, this is a good way to monitor the frequency of your bipolar mood changes.
Now, if you use Facebook to keep your friends and family up to date on everything that’s going on in your life, that’s a different story. You’ll probably want to update your status after you discuss it with the person you’re dating. It wouldn’t be good if you changed your status to in a relationship only to find that they won’t accept your relationship request…ouch. But that’s only after they have met your parents, your kids and your closest friends. You don’t want your mother finding out about your new romantic interest because she logged in to play Farmville and saw your update on her wall.
If you’re looking for a way of telling the world “that’s mine” then linking your profiles with the in a relationship status is the way to go. It works the same way as when a dog pees on a tree to mark his territory. It doesn’t stop other dogs from peeing on the tree but it sends the clear message, “Sparky was here”. You can give your partner that warm feeling of fresh urine running down his leg right after the first time you have sex. Oh, that analogy worked better than I thought. To clarify, what I meant was after you are intimate you can send the in a relationship request.
Let’s face it, being in a relationship is not a Facebook status. It’s a way of life; a personal choice; a commitment between you and your partner and most importantly it’s a frame of mind. That decision will be yours to uphold in the face of adversity. People will still flirt with you on Facebook and off. You will still have disagreements with your partner. The way you react to that adversity is what determines your status, not what Facebook says.
Tags: choices, commitment, dating drama, relationships
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