A while ago I think I was in a relationship with a women. I say, “I think” because I’m not entirely certain. You see, she was a little flippant with regards to being considered “in a relationship” and would mysteriously dump me at random intervals. We seemed to be perfect for each other. We had similar interests, we are both creative and artistic. We both had similar backgrounds and worked in similar fields. Our kids got along and we seemed to integrate well together. We were friends and had a very strong attraction. Even the areas where we were complete opposites seemed to compliment each other, one of us was a slob and the other was a clean freak. It wouldn’t be fair for me to say who was who but I do kinda miss cleaning up after her. I could write a dozen posts spouting all the reasons that we should still be together and why it worked so well. However, she uttered four words that trumped my thousand reasons, “I’m not feeling it”. And where there is no will, there’s no way.
Is “feeling it” important? I’m still not entirely convinced that it is. And, Tiffany claims that I’m the hopeless romantic. But I think that every relationship has high points, low points and should have middle ground. I don’t seem to find the middle ground very often, that time when you are simply two people coexisting in a symbiotic relationship. I find that I’m always either on a pedestal or in the dog house. Which should be a red flag. But it is the drama free middle ground that is the litmus test for whether a relationship will survive. It’s those times, when you aren’t “feeling it” that will determine if you are happy being content in a situation that works. If you’re not, the middle ground will trigger a flight response and you’ll be looking to move on and get your next infatuation fix.
So many people use the word “drama” only in the negative sense. It’s used to describe gossiping, backstabbing, arguing and the common “baby momma drama”. But drama also encompasses infatuation (at least for those of us not experiencing it). Checking your phone every two minutes to see if he’s called is a bit dramatic, don’t you think? It’s important to be able to tell the difference between infatuation and love. Infatuation wears off. What seems odd to me is that infatuation is so common but it’s not a common word. I’m sure many people have said, “I love you” when they were actually just infatuated. Not that, “I’m infatuated with you” would be a great thing to say. But, in some cases, it certainly would be more honest.
Tags: bad relationships, commitment, honesty, love
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