Sunday, January 23, 2011

Important Steps To Saving A Relationship - Ask These Questions

Repairing your relationship can be tricky at best. If you have realized there is a problem then you need to take the lead and find out what is going on. You can find out a lot by asking some very important questions that would let you and your partner see where the two of you stand. It can be tough asking these questions and we will not want to ask them, but they are important steps to saving a relationship.

But most likely the problem can only get worse until you take the initiative to fix it. If you want to save your relationship ask the questions of your girlfriend, boyfriend or spouse. Get together in a comfortable location so the two of you are not feeling intimidated when you talk about these things, and each of you answer these questions.

1. What have been our best times together? If you find the both of you have a different view as to what where your best times, you can get a clue as to what went wrong. You will see how each of you view your relationship from different perspectives.

2. This can be a tough question to ask. What do you not like? Both of you must be honest with your answers here and do not put the blame on the other for something you don't like. Finding out what is bothering each of you is very important as you can see what you can fix or stop doing to help repair the relationship.

3. You each must know what you want from your relationship so ask the question. You may not really know what your partner wants or expects, so now learning what it is you may be able to better accommodate them.

4. Now ask what you each think about your relationships direction. You will see where each of you think the relationship should be going or where you wish it was going. Knowing this answer could show you what your chances of success are or if the relationship may not make it.

What can asking these questions do for you? You will gain some important insight in how your relationship has been functioning and you will have something to work with when trying to repair things. If need be, seek out more info to help your relationship repair and take it one day at a time.

Save A Broken Relationship

If you have ever experienced a union that was having issues or had to end a relationship, you are aware of how hard it can be. This is why it is easy to find a lot of advice about how to fix your broken relationship.

Before you go to the trouble to fix your relationship, think hard about whether the relationship is worth all the effort. Keep in mind that if the pain of the relationship outweighs the pleasure too much, it is possible that your union isn't worth saving. If things are still worth saving, here are some ways to save your union.

Give Things Time

People who have had success repairing broken relationships say that it is necessary to wait a month or two before attempting to make repairs. One of the biggest mistakes you can make is trying to call your ex to speak to them within a few days.

The feeling of missing your ex can be a very hard feeling at times, but it is critical to remember that they might be still angry with you and vice versa. While going through a painful breakup, time can seem like it slows down. Everyone may have calmed down some and be more effective at unraveling the issue with some time and perspective.

Give both of you some time to calm down and think before trying to talk through the issues. Remember that pleading with your ex or acting desperate can make your ex want to go further away from you.

Don't neglect your own needs.  It sounds selfish, but at the beginning of the breakup, just focus on your own needs.  Your ex will have to take care of them self. Decide what you want and take the time to find out what your needs actually are.  Do things to nurture yourself and cheer yourself up. Avoid talking endlessly about your breakup. Reconnect with the other relationships you might have been neglecting while spending so much time with your ex. Get/Stay in shape and start exercising frequently. Eat properly and take care of yourself.

Here is another tip for how to fix your broken relationship. Try to get into your partner's point of view on the problems in the relationship (by yourself, no calling yet) and think about the problems from your side. Ask yourself what both of you could have done differently and what problems caused the breakup.

Also, determine what made you so happy with the relationship before things went bad. Next, determine what the minuses were as well as the  positives. You will know if the relationship is worth saving. While you are working through all of this try to move on with your life with the best of your ability. Try to do things to nurture yourself like going to the spa, socializing, buying new clothes and getting a haircut.

Start Communicating with Your Ex

If you still want your ex back after a few months, then you might want to take some tiny steps to restore communication. Try calling. If they seem like they might be open to talking, gently arrange a public, neutral place to meet.

Once you get to the actual meeting, be lighthearted.  Attempt to express your feelings in a open way. Do not express your your opinion with harsh or bitter language.  Do not swear or yell. Even if your ex seems to blame you for everything, you must also be ready to listen to what your ex has to say. Don't take what they say personally, even though it will probably seem like you are being attacked.

Just remember that both of you have your own ideas about what went wrong.  If you really want them back in your life, hearing what they say is an important step. At first the communication may seem really harsh and confrontational, but if they still love you, they are likely to feel better once they get the problems out. See if you can lighten up the tone after everyone has gotten their feelings out on the table. For the relationship to ultimately work, you must be open and willing to work on yourself.

Repairing a broken romantic relationship is not easy. Relationship repair can be really difficult.

If you really want to fix your relationship, allow yourself and your partner lots of personal space. Initiate open and honest communication with your ex only after things have cooled off for a while.

For more information how to fix a broken relationship read T. Dubb's book "The Magic of Making Up". His book really made it clear how to fix things and what people do wrong in relationships. If you really want your ex back in your life, this is worth using and reading.

How To Repair A Relationship After A Breakup ???


How To Repair A Relationship After a Breakup - Learn How To Repair A Relationship After a Breakup

Men and women are different in many respects but when it comes to relationships those differences become much more pronounced. And while one might argue that these distinctions are directly to blame for “unhappy endings”, they can in turn be used to repair a relationship if rightly understood. The purpose of this article is to point them out, explain why they exist, and how you can effectively leverage them when attempting to repair your own relationship and make them understand how to repair a relationship after a breakup.

First, let’s establish the main difference between men and women and what they seek out in relationships. By nature, when a girl gets together with a guy she’s looking for security. And I’m not referring to financial security (although in many instances this very well could be the case). What I am referring to is the confidence in knowing that she and her offspring will be taken care of. And it doesn’t matter if the thought of babies has never crossed her mind at this point in her life.

Why?

Because whether it’s a conscious thought or not… it’s an instinctual determinant for selecting a partner, nonetheless. This is the way that nature genetically wired women to behave. They seek out dominant males that can ensure the successful propagation of their genes. Don’t believe me? Just spend an afternoon watching the Discovery Channel to see how valid this statement is.

So with this in mind it’s easy to understand what men seek out in relationships: to provide security for their partners. Again, and just like with women, this may not be in the forefront of a guy’s thoughts when selecting his “mate” but it is his own specific motivator for getting with a girl, nonetheless.

So how does all of this fit into relationship repair?
It’s simple: if women are seeking security in their relationships then men must strive to provide it. And if your relationship is in need of repair then you must to take a moment to think about all the ways you might have failed to do so and what steps are necessary to correct this.

For instance, if your girlfriend is about to leave you then attempting to persuade her to stay will not work. Why? Because it’s an act of desperation that screams of insecurity. However, if every one of your actions is geared towards gaining her confidence that you’re not only willing to provide security but completely capable of doing so, you’ll have much more success in repairing your relationship.

Here are some examples of this:
  • Making it known to her (not verbally but through actions) that you don’t need her in your life – you simply want her
  • Showing her that you’re in complete control of your financial future (and security) through responsible spending habits
  • Instilling trust in her that you’re highly committed to her by having a well thought- out plan for the outcome of the relationship
So in conclusion, while the sexes are different when it comes to unions, these differences can be used to a man’s advantage to both repair a relationship and make it into stronger, everlasting bond. All that’s required is a little insight into the driving forces that bring two people together and the underlying factors that ultimately make them “stick”.

Let's Get That Relationship Repaired

Now that you know your problem stems from relationship woes it's time to learn how to fix this turbulent time in your life. You may not have any idea of how to correct this even though you are pretty sure what caused the trouble. However, do you know what led up to this unfortunate circumstance? This is something you must know before even attempting to make things right.

Getting Back Together Soon! When you are considering how to get back together, don't let the fires cool down all the way! One of the things that you will find is that the longer it takes to get back together, the less likely that it will happen. While some time to cool off and think about things is very important, keep in mind that you shouldn't let it go for too long. Keep in mind the fact that you don't want you or your significant other to get too comfortable being alone!

Fix relationship problems Put serious thought into what caused the problem and the right way to fix it. If and when you do get back together, don't forget why you broke up. This can be used as a future warning sign of any upcoming problems. Don't let the warning go unheeded and make sure that your relationship can stand up to the problems that it was experiencing; this is the true sign that you are going to stay together.

Call In Your Friends. Chances are, when you are looking to get back together, your friends will end up being your best allies or your worst enemies, You'll find that there are a number of different things that you should keep in mind when you are considering getting back together, so think about what your friends have to say. You may find their advice very helpful, especially if they are mutual friends. This way they can let you know what is happening with your special other.

Talk it through once you get back together, you can't get around conversation. Find a way to sit down and have a chat with the person you broke up with, and take the time to really explain yourself and your needs. You'll find that the more you talk about the things that went wrong, the more time you can spend talking about how to make things right; don't let this opportunity slide by.

Change and Stick With It. If you are looking to repair relationship problems, remember that the main point is to change and then to make sure that that change is something that you can stick with. It doesn't do anyone any good if you change and then can't commit, you'll just be back where you started. Attempt to make changes that will stay permanent but are relatively simple to stick with.

For many people, the idea of repairing a relationship is a lot of work, but keep in mind that it is good work to do! Don't let the person who's perfect for you slip away just because you couldn't make some changes!


How to Fix a Damaged Relationship - Repair Your Relationship Before It's Too Late

In order to successfully fix a damaged relationship you must avoid making common mistakes through desperation and fear that may push your partner away forever. Fortunately almost ALL relationships can be salvaged but are quickly broken apart by people thinking impulsively and acting irrationally.

Here are some must do's to repair your relationship:

1. Honesty & Communication 

It's very common that the most trivial problems manifest into larger issues over time that can destroy a relationship. You must be honest and communicate your feelings at all times before you find yourself facing larger problems as a result.
Many will find themselves biting their tongue or resisting the urge to express their thoughts and concerns in fear of how their partner may respond. Communication is the heart of ALL successful relationships and in order to fix a damaged relationship you must allow for completely open and honest discussions.

2. Put Your Ego And Pride Aside

It's time to swallow your pride and be honest with yourself in regards to the problems at hand in order to repair your relationship. Your main focus should be admitting your faults openly, addressing them with your partner and discussing how you will both try and fix the problems you have with one another. Accepting blame and admitting when you are wrong can be big pills to swallow but you must do so to ensure you repair your relationship.

3. Reconnecting

People often make reconnecting with their partner a harder process than it truly is, you and your partner can turn back the clock to a time where the magic was born in your relationship. This process is completely up to you but if you follow steps 1 and 2 you will find that getting that spark back in your relationship is easier than you thought possible if you fix a damaged relationship the right way!