Saturday, December 3, 2011

3 Steps to Help You Survive An Affair | How to Get Over the Feeling of Betrayal - Tips to Save a Marriage | Tips to Save a Marriage

“Who Else Wants to Know How To Move On After They Found Out Their Spouse Has Cheated On Them?”

Survive an Affair

The big question is “how to survive an affair?”. You found out that your spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner has cheated on you and now what do you do? You have so many questions running through your head right now.

When you are trying to survive an affair you are probably asking these questions:

a. Why won’t my spouse share the details?

b. How do I deal with the images in my mind?

c. Will they cheat again?

d. How do we restore the trust?

e. Will it ever be the same again?

f. Is it a good idea to have a baby after the affair?

g. How do I keep it from happening again?

h. Do they still love me?

i. Should I forgive them?

j. How do I learn how to live with the history of this?

k. Why did they do it?

l. How do you get that lost feeling out of your head and heart?

m. How do I not feel betrayed?

n. Where do I begin?

o. How do I prove that I am sorry for what I have done?

p. Will our relationship ever get back to the way it was before?

q. What was it about the lover that was better than me?

r. Is it really over?

s. Why can’t they forgive me?

t. How do you have sex again?

u. Should I stay or should we get a divorce?

v. What could I do differently so that they won’t want to have an affair?

The list above are just some of the questions you may have when you are trying to survive an affair. One important element to survive an affair and healing your marriage would be to restore and expand your mental connection with your partner.

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A relationship bond can crack when both partners aren’t devoted to constantly trying to maintain, strengthen and build their link to each other. And if your partner has had an affair, this link endures a disastrous rupture.

You don’t need to be unpleasant in your relationship. And if you are in a position of trying to survive an affair, you might question ways to get back to some type of mutual understanding with your husband or wife, and to a spot where one can truthfully state that you have a great, powerful marriage.

However, when you are trying to survive an affair you might not understand how to get from this level to there. Your inner conversation may sound similar to this:

“Will we ever possess a regular, personal dialogue once again, or will we continually be fighting with regards to the affair particulars, forever in frustration with each other?”

“What must I suggest that can help push the relationship ahead, however doesn’t imply I’ve let him or her off the hook for being unfaithful?”

“Our relationship is a mess right now; therefore I don’t see exactly how we are able to actually get to a point of saving our marriage.”

“She/he will not change, this means our marriage is hopeless.”

Whenever you are trying to survive an affair, the person that was cheated on is filled with uncertainties regarding their or their spouse’s chance to heal and restore the relationship. Creating a powerful emotional connection with a spouse who has devastated you and caused this rupture in your relationship may seem like an insurmountable task. You are faced with handling the loss of trust in your relationship with your spouse-and all the other negative after-effects.

To survive an affair won’t happen overnight, or in a week or month-especially if the revelation of the affair is very fresh. There is a lot of internal work for both the victim and the cheater need to do before expending the energy to work on to survive an affair.

Also, building anything-especially a marriage – takes time, effort, and a stubborn attitude that says, “This affair does not define me, nor does it define my marriage, and we will move past this.”

Rule 1: Observe 100% Honesty and Transparency

Rule 2: Set Questioning Ground Rules

Rule 3: Arrange a Talk Date

Click Here Now to Learn More About The Rules of Affair Survival

Inside How to Survive an affair, Dr. Gunzburg has a section called …Individual Healing – Understanding Personal Feelings and
Sorting through Emotions
.This is a great section that shows you how to not only understand your feels, but how to control them.

I reviewed How to Survive an Affair, because I wanted to know if it really was possible to take control over the mental images.

It’s not only possible, but the methods Dr Gunzburg has outlined are based on the science of cognitive behavioral psychology. Inside phase 1 of the program, he outlines every emotion you are facing and how to overcome it.

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What to Do If You’ve Been Cheated On: How to pick up the pieces after you’ve been ripped apart by an affair. (A $19.95 Value)

What to do when you know your spouse is still lying. (What to say when they promise to “never do it again.”)Why it’ ok to let them have it. (Why you can forget all my rules of engagement for this short 5 -day period)How to uncover what is true and what is a lie. (Why it’s ok to approach everything your spouse says with a healthy level of skepticism.)How to have the freedom to say whatever you choose. (Choosing to display your raw emotions will help rebuild your relationship from square one.)

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Critical steps you need to take seconds after you break the horrible news. (Responding to their reaction in this specific way will significantly reduce the amount of pain your spouse will go through.)How much to disclose and how quickly. (Before you share any details, you need to understand what will help your relationship and what will hurt it.)The #1 question your spouse will press for and how to handle it with kid gloves. (Mishandling this question will almost always destroy your ability to rebuild trust.)How to convince your spouse that the affair is over. (Use this proven technique to remove any doubt in your spouse’s mind that the affair is over.)

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3 Steps to Help You Survive An Affair | How to Get Over the Feeling of Betrayal

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