Sunday, January 23, 2011

Save A Broken Relationship

If you have ever experienced a union that was having issues or had to end a relationship, you are aware of how hard it can be. This is why it is easy to find a lot of advice about how to fix your broken relationship.

Before you go to the trouble to fix your relationship, think hard about whether the relationship is worth all the effort. Keep in mind that if the pain of the relationship outweighs the pleasure too much, it is possible that your union isn't worth saving. If things are still worth saving, here are some ways to save your union.

Give Things Time

People who have had success repairing broken relationships say that it is necessary to wait a month or two before attempting to make repairs. One of the biggest mistakes you can make is trying to call your ex to speak to them within a few days.

The feeling of missing your ex can be a very hard feeling at times, but it is critical to remember that they might be still angry with you and vice versa. While going through a painful breakup, time can seem like it slows down. Everyone may have calmed down some and be more effective at unraveling the issue with some time and perspective.

Give both of you some time to calm down and think before trying to talk through the issues. Remember that pleading with your ex or acting desperate can make your ex want to go further away from you.

Don't neglect your own needs.  It sounds selfish, but at the beginning of the breakup, just focus on your own needs.  Your ex will have to take care of them self. Decide what you want and take the time to find out what your needs actually are.  Do things to nurture yourself and cheer yourself up. Avoid talking endlessly about your breakup. Reconnect with the other relationships you might have been neglecting while spending so much time with your ex. Get/Stay in shape and start exercising frequently. Eat properly and take care of yourself.

Here is another tip for how to fix your broken relationship. Try to get into your partner's point of view on the problems in the relationship (by yourself, no calling yet) and think about the problems from your side. Ask yourself what both of you could have done differently and what problems caused the breakup.

Also, determine what made you so happy with the relationship before things went bad. Next, determine what the minuses were as well as the  positives. You will know if the relationship is worth saving. While you are working through all of this try to move on with your life with the best of your ability. Try to do things to nurture yourself like going to the spa, socializing, buying new clothes and getting a haircut.

Start Communicating with Your Ex

If you still want your ex back after a few months, then you might want to take some tiny steps to restore communication. Try calling. If they seem like they might be open to talking, gently arrange a public, neutral place to meet.

Once you get to the actual meeting, be lighthearted.  Attempt to express your feelings in a open way. Do not express your your opinion with harsh or bitter language.  Do not swear or yell. Even if your ex seems to blame you for everything, you must also be ready to listen to what your ex has to say. Don't take what they say personally, even though it will probably seem like you are being attacked.

Just remember that both of you have your own ideas about what went wrong.  If you really want them back in your life, hearing what they say is an important step. At first the communication may seem really harsh and confrontational, but if they still love you, they are likely to feel better once they get the problems out. See if you can lighten up the tone after everyone has gotten their feelings out on the table. For the relationship to ultimately work, you must be open and willing to work on yourself.

Repairing a broken romantic relationship is not easy. Relationship repair can be really difficult.

If you really want to fix your relationship, allow yourself and your partner lots of personal space. Initiate open and honest communication with your ex only after things have cooled off for a while.

For more information how to fix a broken relationship read T. Dubb's book "The Magic of Making Up". His book really made it clear how to fix things and what people do wrong in relationships. If you really want your ex back in your life, this is worth using and reading.

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